Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Love. In real life?

This was in response to a posting about love, and how people discredit it to rationalize the lack in their own lives.

I also agree, from personal experience, that there are a lot of people living un-lovefilled lives who discredit love in order to justify their own emptiness or unhappiness. I do not want that. However there are some of those people who try to turn it into words of council so that the next generation won't repeat their mistakes. I appreciate that.

While living in a small, out of the way French port town I observed the people constantly. There are always, as in the US, the cute elderly couples helping each other down the street or in the store, but I was struck by the amount of middle-aged couples that seemed obviously delighted to be around each other. Maybe it's the countryside, maybe it's a new romance, maybe it's just France, you say, but I think it's more than that.

I think that Americans, "living life as automatons," forget to actively choose to love. People get into a committed relationship or a marriage and the 'chase' is over: they feel secure in their marriage, in having a marriage, and subsequently move on to the next big obstacle in life, whatever that may be. That is the WRONG thing to do. The distance starts mentally, then emotionally and eventually physically too.

Maybe the French have it figured out because they don't have this culture of finding the job that you love and/or climbing the ladder to the top. They often choose a career path early in life and can't easily change or move up. Ever. So while I agree that IMMENSE satisfaction can come from a job well done and a career that you enjoy, the French aren't focused on gaining happiness from their career. If it comes, that's wonderful, if not, they're still coming home to the place and person that spells happiness for them: their love. And by keeping love an action word, and that person foremost in their lives, they continually benefit from "the world's most powerful motivating force," that is, romantic love.

It's not a hoax; it's not a fairytale. It can be real life. But couples have to choose and 'agir' for it to be a reality.

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