Monday, December 19, 2011

Conjuring Memories

LDS church-house
Sunday 18 Dec 2011
Sacrament Meeting

Hymn #169 As Now We Take The Sacrament

As now our minds review the past, we know we must repent...
She opened the door of our bedroom and stood in the doorway...It was a Saturday night and we were in our bunkbeds, getting ready for bed, talking. 
She was angry, but blown out. She was agitated, but not at us. 
"This isn't the best time to do this, but it's better than not," she said, still with agitation in her voice. "I'm sorry. Ok?!" 
"Ok," we replied. She paused for a moment, then left.
I've often pondered those words "this isn't the best time." I've decided any time is a good time to say sorry and be forgiven.

...Forgiveness is a gift from thee, we seek with pure intent...
As my spirit lingered in that memory and I heard the words of this song all around me, a delightful presence of peace distilled upon my heart, in my soul.
She was trying. Thinking back now it is strange to me that the "I'm sorry" had no hugs or calmness to go with it; rather it was abrubt and almost chaff. But she was trying. And, I think, succeeding. And we forgave her. This was a beautiful and meaningful memory for me, coupled by the peaceful feeling of forgiveness and quiet encouragement concerning her. "Don't give up," was whispered to my soul. "Don't rewrite your memory with only the problems being the actors." And though it didn't concern this memory, I realized that our forgiveness of others is sometimes a gift granted by Heavenly Father. Some things we just can't move beyond on our own.

...As now we praise thy name with song the blessings of this day
Will linger in our thankful hearts, and silently we pray
For courage to accept thy will
     continue to forgive, encourage, believe in and love Her
We love thee Lord our hearts are full,
We'll walk thy chosen way.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as my gratitude to God was sent to heaven on the melody of the hymn.

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