Friday, November 23, 2012

Business doesn't have tantrums

I grew up among women. Stay at home moms, female teachers, female youth leaders, and later, five years worth of female college roommates. I learned many valuable things from these women, but there was one thing that was not so valuable. The art of complaining. Female moodiness. The 'adult' temper tantrum.

Only after I was married and entered a business-dominated world did I really discover (thank goodness!) the art of being 'chill'. Cool. Even tempered. I began to see that every problem has a solution, every difficulty has a healthy coping strategy, every argument can have a peaceful outcome. It is possible to deal with problems --even emotional ones-- calmly, rationally, and logically.  Recognizing the problem, or that there is a problem, is the huge first step.

Here is my business-world-influenced mental checklist when I'm facing a problem, a hormonal imbalance, or a difficult family member:
1. Recognize there is a problem. (Feelings of frustration are a big clue).
2. Mentally inform myself that "there is a problem," and remind myself that there is a calm solution. (Aka, no need to freak out). Yes, this step involves taking to myself. (Only crazy people don't).
3. Let it go. Don't care so much, or so strongly. If we females put as much energy into positive thinking as we do into our depressed/frustrated/angry musings, wow. I can't even describe how awesome that could be. Anyways I usually discover after an outburst that it really wasn't something worth getting fired up about.
4. Invite the other person to problem- solve with me.

1 comment:

  1. I love you Marce. I especially like #3. Dealing with children's tantrums when you feel like throwing a tantrum and they refuse to problem-solve with you is another category, but #3 will still help me.

    You're great! You're calm! You're chill! Goooooo Marcy!